Feedback Culture: The Secret Weapon of High-Performing Teams (Part 2: Receiving Feedback)
- James Rule
- Dec 5, 2025
- 3 min read
When was the last time someone gave you tough feedback and you thanked them?
If that question makes you pause, you’re not alone. Most leaders are far more comfortable giving feedback than receiving it. And that’s understandable. Receiving feedback pricks our ego, challenges our self-image, and can feel exposing.
If you want to lead at a high level and build a resilient, high performing team, you have to get good at receiving feedback.
Giving feedback is only half the equation. If you resist, dismiss, or ignore feedback yourself, you’ll never create the kind of culture where others feel safe doing the same.
Why receiving feedback is so hard
There are good reasons leaders flinch when feedback comes their way. Neuroscience shows criticism can activate the same parts of the brain that process physical pain. Our instinct is self-protection.
On top of that, most of us were never taught how to receive feedback well. We deflect it (“Yes, but…”), minimise it (“It’s not a big deal”), or internalise it (“I must be bad at this”).
The result? Leaders stop receiving honest input. Teams follow suit. A culture of silence takes hold and your chances of building a high performance environment are compromised.
Receiving feedback well doesn’t mean you always agree. It means you stay open, curious, and composed.
Seven strategies for receiving feedback well
On The Lonely Leader Podcast (episode link below) I share seven practical techniques used by high-performing leaders to embrace feedback and turn it into growth. Here is a preview of four of them:
1. Pause before you react When feedback stings, resist the urge to defend or explain. Take a breath. A simple: “Thanks, let me reflect on that” buys you space and signals maturity.
2. Look for the signal, not the flaw Feedback may be clumsy or poorly timed. Don’t dismiss it. Ask: “What might be true in what they’re saying?”
3. Separate the “what” from the “how” The content of feedback and the delivery are different things. Focus on the message, even if you didn’t like the delivery.
4. Say thank you Acknowledging the courage it takes to speak up builds psychological safety. You can process the content later but in the moment, lead with gratitude.
Your example sets the tone
If your team sees you reject or deflect feedback, they’ll mirror it. If they see you stay open and composed, they’ll do the same.
Want a team that’s coachable? Be coachable. Want a team that grows? Show them how you grow. Want resilience? Model it in tough conversations.
Weekly Leadership Challenge
This week, why not try this challenge:
Reflect: How do you usually respond to feedback?
Commit: Choose one of the tips above to practice.
Act: Proactively ask one person for feedback on something specific. Receive it well.
Final Reflection
Feedback is not a threat. It’s a signal. Not about your identity, but about your opportunity.
The best leaders don’t just give feedback they embrace it themselves. That’s how they build trust, resilience, and sustainable high performance.
For a deeper exploration of this subject, including more real world strategies, listen to Part 2 of the Feedback Culture series on The Lonely Leader Podcast:
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