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How my wife inspired me in a time of fear and uncertainty.

Writer's picture: James RuleJames Rule

Investing in our personal growth and development should be a non negotiable part of our daily habits. However all too often we defer investing in ourselves in order to address what we deem to be the more pressing demands of our job, family, relationships etc.


We struggle to justify the time required to invest in our growth, whether that be our physical and mental health, our skills and knowledge base or our relationships.


What are we waiting for? Why can’t we justify the time to grow in these essential areas?


Is it denial? We believe we have already mastered those areas.


Overwhelm? We simply can’t see the wood for the trees and do not know where to start.


A misaligned moral compass? We believe it is selfish to invest time in personal growth when so many other people need us. We prioritise meeting their needs, failing to leave anytime for meeting our own.


In my experience people drift onto auto pilot failing to make the required investment in their growth until they experience a circuit break. This is often a period of stress or a traumatic event. That moment provides a breakthrough, a new perspective and clarity about where we are and what we need to do. Invariably it leads to a reordering of life tasks and a renewed focus on an essential (and perhaps neglected) area of personal growth.


For my wife this happened when lockdown began in March of this year. As an antidote to the fear and uncertainty we were experiencing she decided to focus on what she could control which was her physical health and fitness. The reality is that as a truly devoted and selfless wife, mother, daughter and friend she has consistently met everyones needs but had not invested in her physical health for sometime.


She took action and began exercising, and showed real discipline in her diet. Her words really impacted me. She framed her decision by stating she had “made a commitment to herself and she intended to honour that commitment.” The way she stated that phrase I could tell it had a powerful impact on her mindset as well.


Seven months later she has lost over two stone and attained new levels of fitness and energy. Her dedication has been an inspiration to the whole family and we have all endeavoured to follow her lead. It is essential to note she achieved her goal without compromising the value she delivers in her numerous roles. Her focus on her personal growth (health) did not mean she had to compromise another area of her life.



My wife gave me permission to share her experience as it highlights the path so many of us take. We defer investing in ourselves until we reach an “enough is enough” moment and something jolts us out of our complacency and prompts us to take action.


I believe our collective challenge is to not wait that long and instead ensure we find time daily to make that investment with a little and often approach to our personal growth.


Is there something on your ‘To Do’ list that facilities investment in yourself? Perhaps learning new skills and acquiring knowledge through a course? Developing strategies to enhance your resilience and mindset? Improving your physical health and fitness? Whatever it is make the time to invest in you. Take the action and make it a reality rather than leaving it to get buried on your ever increasing ‘To Do’ list.


If you can find an hour a day it will facilitate massive progress that in turn will be truly transformational to your mindset, fulfilment and happiness.


Good luck !

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