Why Active Listening is the Skill that Changes Everything.
- James Rule
- Aug 15
- 5 min read

We’ve all done it. You’re in a 1:1 or a team meeting, nodding along as someone shares a problem, but your mind is already 10 steps ahead, solving it, planning your reply, maybe even scanning your To Do list in your head. And you leave the conversation having heard very little. Sound familiar?
Active listening is a leadership blind spot, a deceptively simple skill that most leaders believe they’ve mastered, yet so few consistently practice. In this edition of The Leadership Accelerator, we’re exploring why active listening might be the most powerful tool in your leadership toolkit, and why, without it, you could be missing your biggest opportunities to lead effectively.
Active listening isn’t just hearing. It’s not nodding while planning your response or fixing problems before they’re fully expressed. True active listening means being fully present, mind, ears, and attention! It’s about giving the other person space to express not just their thoughts, but their emotions and ideas, too.
The reward? When practiced consistently, active listening builds trust and connection, makes people feel seen, heard, and valued, creates psychological safety, unlocks creativity and innovation, helps identify and diffuse tension and boosts performance across individuals and teams. In short, active listening changes everything.
Be honest, are you really listening? Most leaders think they’re good listeners. The truth in my experience as a coach and mentor is that we’re often not. Why? Because our days are packed with distraction, pings, alerts, meetings, inboxes, deadlines. Our minds jump to solving problems quickly, driven by what I call an urgency bias. We want to be efficient. We want to be useful. And we want to prove we know the answer. But in doing so, we stop listening. We interrupt. We override. We miss context. We unintentionally stifle our teams.
What Gets in the Way of Active Listening? Let’s name the roadblocks, because awareness is the first step toward improvement:
1. Distraction Overload
Notifications, emails, Slack, WhatsApp, social media, and that endless to do list… they all chip away at our presence. It’s hard to focus when your brain is bouncing between tabs literally and metaphorically.
2. Urgency Bias
We want to be fast. We want to move on to the next thing. But real leadership isn’t about speed it’s about depth. Rushing leads to poor decisions, missed nuance, and team members who stop coming to you with their best thinking.
3. Ego
Let’s call it what it is. Sometimes, our need to be the one with the answer stops us from being the one who truly listens. But leadership isn't about having all the answers, it's about creating space for the best answers to emerge, regardless of where they come from.
Why is active listening the skill that changes everything? Because when people feel heard, they feel safe. And when they feel safe, they perform better, speak up more, share new ideas, and bring solutions rather than just problems. It also lets you catch problems earlier, especially the subtle tension that can derail performance or damage culture if left unchecked.
Every great leader I’ve worked with can read the room, not just because they watch closely, but because they listen deeply. A leader who epitomises this is NBA coaching legend Phil Jackson. During the Chicago Bulls' historic run, Jackson led a team of superstars with giant talent, and equally giant egos. He didn’t dominate the room. He didn’t bark orders. He listened. He created space for players to share, reflect, and feel heard. And in doing so, he managed personalities like Jordan, Pippen, and Rodman while building a high performance culture others couldn’t replicate.
It’s a powerful reminder: great leaders don’t always have the loudest voice, they often have the most open ears. Here are nine actionable strategies you can implement immediately to improve your active listening:
1. Put Away Distractions
Silence your phone. Close your laptop. Stop multitasking. Give the person in front of you the gift of undivided attention.
2. Use Silence to Your Advantage
Don’t fear silence. Let it breathe. Often, the most important insights come after someone finishes their initial thought. Let them fill the space.
3. Ask Clarifying Questions
Don’t assume you’ve understood. Ask thoughtful questions to ensure you grasp the full picture - context, content, and emotional tone.
4. Don’t Interrupt
Even when you think you know the answer, don’t jump in. Let them finish. Interrupting sends the message that your opinion matters more than theirs.
5. Summarise What You’ve Heard Before responding.
Recap what’s been shared: “So what I’m hearing is…” This confirms understanding and builds psychological safety.
6. Give Praise Where It’s Due
If someone shows vulnerability, insight, or courage, say so. Positive reinforcement makes people more likely to keep engaging openly.
7. Ask for Their Solution First Before you offer your fix
Ask what they think. This builds ownership, encourages accountability, and often surfaces brilliant ideas you hadn’t considered.
8. Practice Daily
Active listening isn’t something you “master” once. It’s a daily habit. When pressure mounts, it’s often the first skill to slip, so be intentional.
9. Make Listening Part of Your Leadership DNA
When people know you’re someone who listens, not just hears, they bring their best. And word spreads. Being a great listener makes you a talent magnet.
Many listeners of The Lonely Leader Podcast message me saying, “James, I’m guilty of the very habits you’re warning about.”
My response is always the same, good. That’s awareness. That’s growth. None of us are perfect leaders. I certainly wasn’t with regard to active listening early in my career. I used to believe I had to have all the answers, that to lead meant solving problems fast.
I’ve learned, through trial, error, and lots of reflection, that presence and patience often outperform speed and certainty.
This article and the accompanying podcast (links below), aren’t about judgement. They’re about tools. My goal is simply to help you spot the dead ends before you walk into them.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: Active listening isn’t a soft skill, it’s a performance skill.
When you really listen, you enhance your leadership impact. You build better teams. You unlock creativity. You prevent burnout. You strengthen culture. Best of all you make people feel like they matter. That is leadership. I wish you the best of luck on your leadership journey!
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